The question that comes to my mind often, especially when I'm troubled is why do I bother trying to be friendly or try to make friends? It appears I am nothing but an annoyance that needs to be swatted away. When I talk to someone, I get the impression that on their end, in their deep thoughts, they think such thoughts as "Why is he talking to me? Why won't he leave me alone?"
I'm sorry, but I'm just about ready to give up trying to be friendly. Maybe I should go back to secluding myself to my own things. Sammi's the only one that really has a tolerance for me and even then I'm beginning to wear her patience thin...
My deepest apologies, I wish I could be in a much better state of mind to post something much more optimistic, but I have nothing optimistic to say!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Remembering my origins
Just about an hour ago, I was surfing the internet, and decided to stop by Amazon to see if there was anything to catch my eye, something to help get my mind off depressing subjects. One type of thing I love purchasing are art books, whether they are art collection books, or how-to's, because learning from others is always important to me. While I was searching for instructional books, I found a related search that sparked an old memory...
...Ed Emberley.
In case you don't know who that is, he is known for publishing drawing books aimed at children, using instructions that are extremely easy to follow, and using shapes, letters and numbers as references (Ex: to draw a snake, start with an "S" shape, etc.). He believed anyone can learn to draw.
Then nostalgia hit me harder than anything else has in the long while. This man is the sole reason I began drawing in the first place. I remember checking out his collection of drawing books from the public library when I was young and my dad would take me. I remember occupying my time to learn how to draw awesome animals, robots, people and vehicles using simple shapes. Then my drawing talent was born. I realized I've been drawing since I've learned to pick up a pencil, and I haven't taken the time to appreciate how long I've been drawing and how far I've gotten. Sure my pace is nowhere as fast as others I know, but it's not a race! I forget that sometimes, and I laugh every time I realize how foolish it is to think so. I look back and see the distance, and it helps push me towards getting more practice in and going further. We all have our own paces, and I may be going slower than others, but that's alright. I've loved drawing ever since I've been looking at Ed Emberley's books, and I still love drawing today. It's my passion, and it always will be. I may be discouraged sometimes, but I try to remind myself otherwise.
In other news, Sammi has recently gotten me into Black adder, an old British comedy show, and I seem to love it so far.
...Ed Emberley.
In case you don't know who that is, he is known for publishing drawing books aimed at children, using instructions that are extremely easy to follow, and using shapes, letters and numbers as references (Ex: to draw a snake, start with an "S" shape, etc.). He believed anyone can learn to draw.
Then nostalgia hit me harder than anything else has in the long while. This man is the sole reason I began drawing in the first place. I remember checking out his collection of drawing books from the public library when I was young and my dad would take me. I remember occupying my time to learn how to draw awesome animals, robots, people and vehicles using simple shapes. Then my drawing talent was born. I realized I've been drawing since I've learned to pick up a pencil, and I haven't taken the time to appreciate how long I've been drawing and how far I've gotten. Sure my pace is nowhere as fast as others I know, but it's not a race! I forget that sometimes, and I laugh every time I realize how foolish it is to think so. I look back and see the distance, and it helps push me towards getting more practice in and going further. We all have our own paces, and I may be going slower than others, but that's alright. I've loved drawing ever since I've been looking at Ed Emberley's books, and I still love drawing today. It's my passion, and it always will be. I may be discouraged sometimes, but I try to remind myself otherwise.
In other news, Sammi has recently gotten me into Black adder, an old British comedy show, and I seem to love it so far.
Monday, May 2, 2011
I hate not having motivation...
So seeing that a friend of mine had made a blog here, I decided to "follow the leader" if I term it as such, and make one here myself. I suppose this is where I'll be posting my thoughts, since I think it would be wise to. Moving on!
Since this year has begun I keep telling myself "I'm going to draw something that will blow my mind away!" and try to impress myself. Yet when I sit down and prepare myself, all that motivation goes flying out the window. I either spend the rest of the night looking at things on the internet, playing a game or sulking on my latest depression. Even as I am typing this, I have my 2011 sketchbook sitting on my desk, its pages mostly empty (only one page has stuff in it). It's already May, almost halfway through the year (the time sure flies!) and I haven't even started letting my creativity flow.
...Why?
Why is that? I know the answer should be there in front of me... but why can't I figure it out? I have the ideas, I have the motivation while thinking, yet when it comes to actually drawing, everything I conjured up during the day has all of a sudden withdrew back into the depths of my mind, awaiting for another day to be used.
In other news, I'm a good amount done renewing my room to give it a more relaxed, mature feel. I haven't replaced any of my furniture since I was 10, and now that I'm 21, I felt it was about time.
-Richie
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